Today was the day that the package arrived. Maddie Sue's new, improved, hot pink, yowza, personalized harness arrived. The three dogs stood at attention as I opened the box. Maddie Sue must have known it was hers because when I showed it to them, she lunged for it and tried to take it from me. Ruby was disappointed that it wasn't a treat; Lex, chagrinned that it wasn't a toy; but Maddie was overjoyed, for some odd and unknown reason. Maybe she likes hot pink.
But alas, it did not come with instructions. Gordon and I used our hands as model dogs as we attempted to figure out, literally, which end is up with the new harness, all the while, Maddie kept after us with the, "if you would just let me show you....." look.
The title for this blog, Chasing the Naked Chihuahua came with a harness snafu. Maddie has a red harness with a tag engraved with my phone number dangling from it. It jingles during the night. It is good when I am looking for her in a dark room; it is bad when I am trying to sleep and she is dancing around the room looking for a little action.
So I would take her harness off each night, asking her "do you wanna get naked?" She did. And when she was naked, I would give her a good massage and scratch, which she loved.
Gordon was clueless as to how to put on her harness, so he would tie a noose around her neck with a rope and take her out early in the morning when I was still snoring, ooops, I meant: snoozing. And one morning, she slipped out of her noose and became the liberated, adventurous, teasing, catch me if you can, NAKED CHIHUAHUA. By the time I woke up to see what the commotion was, Gordon was at wits end, with a sheet and towel (both in attempts to snare her), the Have-A-Heart trap, kibble treats dotting a path to ominous corners where he would ambush her. And Maddie? She was in her glory. Naked and having a blast, snatching her kibble and dancing around the yard.
Once she was brought in for landing, I showed Gordon that Maddie knows how to put on her own harness. Just hold the back part up, and she will walk into the head noose, lift her right paw into the leg part, and if you just match up the left paw with the right, and snap the harness, she is good to go.
With this hot pink, yowza, wowza model, we can't tell where the head noose is. And Ms Maddie Sue is getting frustrated with us. She keeps sticking her head through various loops and trying to lift her paw into other loops, but so far, it is not making sense.
Tomorrow, I will go online to look for instructions. And if all else fails, I will call Jean/Ernie, owner of the luxurious pet spa that Maddie enjoyed and yell for help. Or maybe after a good night's sleep, either I or Ms. Maddie will figure the darn thing out.
Tonight, the naked chihuahua is sleeping in her tinkling harness and the hot pink macrame of a mess will rest on the table and await clearer minds.
Good night, Maddie Sue. Warble, Warble, Ms. Ann.
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