Saturday, January 1, 2011

Maddie Sue's Reunion with her Siblings

Maddie Sue had such a great time with her First Family!  But it was poignant when they left.  This was the first time Maddie Sue ever cried when her First Family left -- it was also the first time she had a reunion with her siblings and I think that was the difference.  She ran to both back doors, weeping, warbling and actually howling with grief.  It touched my heart, but it also let me know that she did remember her sibs and was happy to see them and sad to see them go.

Her life quickly returned to "normal" -- she nested once again behind me as I sit on my office chair; she survived the fireworks, she is back in her pack with Lex and Ruby where she has fit in and bonded.  Life is good for The Naked Chihuahua, and yes, I have somewhat apologized to her for my term, "the Torture Chi."

I nudged her snoozing body -- she opened one eye, read and approved the blog, and said,"do you think I am the cutest?"  Of course, Maddie Sue, of course.  And back to sleep she went.  I am glad Jayda and Zack are not regular blog readers cuz they are pretty darn cute too.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

The Not Naked Chihuahua

The Torture Chi

The Torture Chihuahua struck again last night.

Even though I am off this weekend, my sleep schedule remains on hospital time, so I fell asleep at 2 a.m., walked Ruby at 4 a.m. and at 6 a.m. was awakened by the shriek (as in, that's just how chi's bark) of......... The Torture Chihuahua.

Step One:  I took her out to piddle.
Step Two:  I gave her a treat
Step Three: I put her in an empty, but coveted dog bed.

I returned to my bed and within mere minutes - she shrieked again.  I got up, and tried:

Step Four:  A drink of water?  nope
Step Five: Another trip outside.  nope.  Which, of course, mandated another treat.

Back to the still empty, but coveted dog bed.  Back to my still warm and welcome person bed.  And within mere minutes - another shriek from the The Torture Chi.

Trying to keep this ruckus contained so as not to awaken Gordon, who also does nighttime shifts walking Ruby (our mastiff with cancer mandating hourly trips outside), I decided to follow this little bugger to see if she would lead me to what she wanted.  Obviously, she has never seen an episode of Lassie as the loyal collie leads June to the well to rescue Timmy.

Maddie just stood there doing her "rat on a glue board" imitation - one of her best, by the way.  And yes, I do know what a rat on a glue board looks like -- remember, I was a poverty attorney in a ghetto office, so I knew what rats, rats on glue boards, and dead rats on glue boards looked like.

We stood like this for 15 minutes just looking at each other.  Like the show down at the Okay Corral.  Finally, I caved and broke Pet Rule Number Two of the White-Powers Household.

Pet Rule Number One, by the way, is "no dogs, no cats, no hamsters, no parakeets, no goldfish - no pets period."  When folks who know this rule ask Gordon to explain our three four legged furries, he says, "they are concessions."

Pet Rule Number Two is: NO DOGS ON THE BED EVER.

What to do?  After the Mexican Stand Off, the only other thing I could think of was to take her to bed with me and hide her under the covers.  She thought that was fun, but wanted to lick the inside of my eyeballs and up my nostrils.  I tried to shield my face but her frog like little Chi-tongue was fast and insistent.  And then she got tired of this kind of torment and shrieked to get down.

At this time, forty minutes of dog-wrestling, mentally, psychologically and physically had passed and she was still in the lead.  I grabbed her, my pillow and a bed throw and we stormed over to my living area and onto my loveseat sofa.  In my haste, I passed the thermostat -- and boy did I later wish that I had kicked up the heat a little since the sofa was cold, and my cover was just a throw....but I understand that shivering burns calories, and besides, I was not getting up again, even if it snowed on me.

The minute we laid down together, before I could even get my throw over the majority of my squished up body parts, The Torture Chihuahua fell soundly asleep.  Unfortunately, she pinned my right leg in an unnatural position and I started to lose feeling in it.  But I was NOT moving for fear of waking her again.  I would have chewed my leg off first before I would risk awakening her.

And then, I sneezed.....all of the eyeball and nostril licking had started an allergy attack: sneezing, watering and itchy eyes, itchy throat.   My Zyrtec was just down the hall, just past the thermostat, but again, I was NOT going to move and risk another attack from The Torture Chi.  I was almost welcoming an anaphalaxic shock to kill me -- at least I could rest on The Other Side.  How did she die?  Suffocated by The Torture Chihuahua.

Finally, I heard Gordon get up at 8 a.m. to feed the pups and The Torture Chi trotted off happily for her breakfast, and I dragged myself back to bed for a few more minutes of sleep.

As you know, it is the policy of this blog that all posts have to be approved by Maddie Sue, who is now sleeping behind me in the chair resting up from her escapades.  Her response once I poked her and made her read this post:  "aren't you over-reacting?  I just wanted to be by you on our special couch -- the one we share when you come home from work?"  I gave her my steely eyed, one eye brow raised penetrating glare to which she replied:  "whatever" -- yawned and went back to sleep.  I am deeming this blog post approved by Maddie Sue, most commonly known as The Naked Chihuahua.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Nature Girl

She spends so much time in the vines, I fear they will capture her someday. But it is only fitting that Nature Rabbi would have a Nature Chi!

Saturday, September 4, 2010

just saying....

For a dog who goes nuts when wild winds blow outside, crawling on her belly like a reptile or a GI Joe doing the combat crawl, I, for one, think it is crazy that Maddie Sue loves to have the hair dryer aimed at her, and loves to dance and twirl in front of the fan.

Go figure.
I nudged Maddie Sue to see if she would approve this blog post. Her response: "Oh, shut up!"
I guess this is an unapproved post............just saying.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Sometimes Going Green is NOT Good

It was a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a reunion. Maddie and I had been looking forward to the visit of her mom, Nancy.

How much was Maddie Sue looking forward to this visit? Glad you should ask.

The evening before Nancy's arrival, I decided to take a long and soaking bath with herbal salts. I just sank into the tub under Maddie Sue's watchful eye and as I did, I said, "Tomorrow your mom comes." And she tilted her head with interest. I continued, never knowing when I should just shut up, "You know, Mrs. Paul."

Upon hearing that familiar name, Maddie Sue, with no warning, and probably surprising both of us, flew into the air, landing right on my chest, and put her face to mine with a look like, "Say what?"

Not to be out done by a Naked Chihuahua, a wet one at that, Lexi, the alpha, jumps in too. Obviously, the bath was now over and three wet females had to dry off. Did I mention it was 1 a.m. (after my work shift.)

But back to the reunion.

We met in downtown St. Pete, and sat outside overlooking the twin banyan trees and the harbor. The weather was perfect. Maddie Sue was beside herself with joy -- jumping, snuggling, kissing, singing, warbling -- just causing all sorts of joyous vibrations and energy. Enough so that passersby would ask why she was so overcome with happiness --- cuz she gets to be with her mom.

Nancy and Paul will always and forever be Maddie Sue's parents. Maddie and I are just two old(er) broads who are living our (s)aging years together. Mine is sort of like her retirement home.

The place where I got my coffee had a bowl of dog biscuits and I picked out a bright Kelly green one for Ms Maddie Sue. Since Nancy and I were treating ourselves to refreshments, Maddie Sue might as well join us.

In fairness to Nancy, who broke dainty little bits of this Leprechaun treat for Maddie Sue to gobble, ooops, I meant savor, Nancy did ask me if I thought it was okay to feed it to Maddie. "Oh sure, why not?" I replied.

You don't need the graphic details (although as a chaplain in the trauma room, trust me, I can provide them). Suffice it to say that that night when I got home from work, and the next morning as well, Maddie Sue's area looked like a crime scene.

The next day Maddie slugged around, not eating, looking pathetic while I felt my heart ache with guilt for picking out the poison Leprechaun dog treat.

Truly, I should have known.
Truly, I would think that I would have a learning curve on this one. Why?

Well, by way of example one -- as a child of 7, I had to fly military transport from Great Lakes to California - you know, the prop plane not known for comfort. I was not sitting by my family. I guess we got seated in whatever empty seats were available. I remember only two things about this flight, which occurred on St.Patrick's Day. One is the green pear they served. The second is the nice lady who held the bag and my forehead as I relieved myself of.....yes, the Leprechaun green pear.

By way of example two -- formerly I had a 14 year old stepdaughter who was having all four of her wisdom teeth pulled. Being the good stepmother, I wanted her to have something smooth and cold upon her return from the dentist so I went to the store to purchase her favorite ice cream - mint (as in pale Leprechaun) pistachio ice cream -- and unfortunately, not only was it in the killer green family, but it was loaded with nuts. Do I need to say that I felt like the evil, nefarious stepmother as I ran for the bucket. All did not go well.

Okay -- I think I finally got it. Sorry it took three times experiencing the after effects of slime colored, Leprechaun colored, any sort of bright green not appearing naturally in nature to teach me that if it don't look like food -- it ain't. If it looks like a Leprechaun -- don't eat it.

And in case there is an Anti-Defamation League for Leprechauns -- I love the little fellows, just not the color when it poses as a food product.

In poking the sleeping Naked Chihuahua to get her approval for this post she said, "don't let yourself off the hook so easily" and went back to her nap. Hmmm. I guess that is an approval for the post and a disapproval for my attempt to poison her. Sorry ol' girl.