The Naked Chihuahua --On the Lam Again

It's been six days now since the last Naked Chihuahua incident, enough time that we, Ms. Maddie Sue and I, can begin to think about telling the story. She is perched in her writing chair, next to me, eyes scrutinizing the keyboard lest I misspeak......editing each thought and phrase.

One good thing, is that I learned that the spelling of "on the lam(b)" is without the "b" -- always good to learn new things. Maddie Sue was no help here -- she wanted to add the b as in a "lamb" on the run.

So what happened? It may be better said, "What happens on the beach, stays on the beach," that is Maddie Sue's version and so far, she's stickin' to it.

Here is mine:

It was a dark and stormy night. I worked a long and hard shift at the trauma unit and I wanted nothing more than to lay my body on my bed. It was 1 a.m., and being what I like to think of as "The Good Dog Mother" -- I gathered the three leashes on the back porch and whispered to the dogs to come go outside. Two showed up -- no Ms Maddie, who is usually the first. I whisper, "treats" - which will snap her from a sound sleep -- but no Ms Maddie.

I get a flash light so as not to disturb my sleeping Gordon and start looking under the bed and in corners in case she had some sort of seizure or spell (which she has never had) and taken to the far corners of the house as it is rumored dogs and elephants do. No Ms Maddie.

I awake my sleeping Gordon who recalls taking all three for a walk at 8 p.m. and bringing all three home, unleashing them, and locking the house up for the night. He takes to the car and starts driving around. No Ms Maddie.

I decide to sit on the various porches listening with the keenest of mother ears in case I hear her. It is my hope that someone took her in for the night and would call me in the morning.

After all, she was last seen wearing her red harness with my phone number embroidered upon it.

Morning came and no calls. We posted a fetching photo of her with the banner "LOST" with our phone numbers all around the beach area, all around the dog park, and all around our home. One of our friends, a former military pilot took to his bicycle and rode a rescue/recon grid pattern for at least 5 hours covering every inch of Old NE with the mission to either bring back Ms Maddie (optimistically, he carried a leash) or to bring home her body. No Ms Maddie.

I called every vet in St. Pete. I tweeted and Facebooked her photo and emailed it to vets and shelters in the area. At 2:30 I called the "Kill Shelter" and when I gave them my address and said I was looking for a chihuahua, they said to check out an address about 4 blocks from my house toward downtown.

I dropped everything and ran to that house. It was Apt. 1, but there were no doorbells. I knew the lady's name was Tracy, so like a fish monger's wife, or like Dustin Hoffman in the Graduate at the church scene (Elaine, Elaine -- now THAT dates me) -- I stood on the street shouting, "Tracy, Tracy" and tried to look in windows for a chihuahua. I saw a pomeranian, but not a chi.

Finally a nice man rushed out of the building telling me to "shush" -- that Tracy is on the phone to "the government" and I should just wait. I did. Tracy then came out and invited me in saying she had found a chihuahua.

There in the hallway -- was the showdown at the OK Corral -- Maddie Sue and I -- face to face, looking at each other. And yes, she was indeed NAKED!

Finally I said, "Well?"
And she ran over to me, I picked her up, and she began kissing all over me. Whew -- some kind of proof that she was mine. I guess she was snarling at her good Samaritans. I mentioned that the dog I was looking for was a bit, how do you say it politely, "Crabby!!"

As I carried home the dirty, sore, naked chihuahua, there had been such a neighborhood hoohah about finding her that several cars honked their horns and yelled, "Is that the lost chihuahua?" Some bicyclists waved and gave me the thumbs up sign.

One car pulled up and asked if this was the lost chihuahua, and when I said it was, she said that it looked like HER lost chihuahua, Sandy. But good ol' Maddie Sue was not ready for another confrontation or adventure and when the woman came over to reach for her, as I was fumbling with my iphone to show that I had photos of MY lost chihuahua, Maddie Sue did the nasty: snarled, snipped, and growled at her. "See," I said, "I told you it was MY chihuahua. Mine is a little crabby." The lady rushed back to her car and drove away.

I let Maddie Sue enjoy her Hero's Homecoming as we walked home down Beach Drive, knowing that as soon as we entered the house, she was getting her privileges pulled and heading for a major lock down.

As yet, there is no sign of her harness and she is NOT telling how she got naked while out cavorting all night long.

She no longer has back porch privileges and I still have the nasty cold I caught waiting up for her all night long on that dark and stormy night.

Peace has returned to our abode.

This blog post had been approved by Ms Maddie Sue, The Naked Chihuahua

A motley crew

Boo has come to visit

Boo, aka Charlie, is my first senior placement. He was discarded as
too old to place. He now lives in Venice with Dick and Charlotte
Sharno and is the hit of his neighborhood. He has been loving them and
been loved by them for three years now.

He visits The Wm Gordon House periodically for old times sake.

When Dick was recovering in a dog-friendly rehab, Boo came to visit,
walked right down the hall, turned and navigated right straight to his
dad's room and jumped in bed with his dad, snuggling with him. Dick
said that it was the best therapy!

A LESSON ON THE PERILS OF BEING A STICKY BEAK

I love the expression "sticky beak" -- it may be Australian, but it means sticking your nose into another's business. Maddie Sue learned a sorry lesson due to her Sticky Beak ways.

Each morning the girls get a tasty breakfast of kibble and other delights mixed in. The delights are mixed in well because Lex has a tendency to pick out the extras and leave the kibbles.

Yesterday was a busy morning for both Gordon and me, so we just served three bowls of kibble. Ruby and Maddie Sue (the big and the little) eat on the side veranda and Lex eats in the kitchen. (And now that Boo is staying with us, he eats on the back porch.)

After Maddie Sue finished her Olympic dance and twirl routine in anticipation of the placement of her bowl, she looked at it with shock and disbelief: "What!! No Good Stuff!!" and paraded off with the best huffy chihuahua march you can imagine and stuck her beak into Ruby's bowl, of course, getting mastiff slobber all over her little chihuahua head. "Nope, no good stuff here either."

And then paraded into the kitchen to poke her beak into Lex's bowl. Again, nada.

By the time Ms Nosy Chihuahua got back to her own bowl.......you guessed it....Ruby had discovered it unattended and demolished all of Maddie Sue's kibble.

Another look of shock and disbelief -- not only no Good Stuff, but now, due to that Sticky Beak of hers, No Breakfast Period. Bummer.


okay, okay, before the fans of Maddie Sue protest animal cruelty on my part, after waiting enough to watch her pout, stomp and snort, I gave her another bowl of kibble.


And speaking of animal cruelty -- I was reading a story of a paramedic on a Code, trying to resuscitate a man in cardiac failure, and a pesky, yappy chihuahua (unlike any we know and love) was jumping around, nipping at the paramedic and bouncing off the furniture and the downed owner. The paramedic kept swatting the chi away, trying to do CPR and administer drugs to restart the owner's heart. Finally it was time for the paddles, and as the medic yelled "Clear" and the paddles paddled, the sight of an airborne chihuahua and the smell of burnt fur filled the air. The man lived.....I never found out about the dog.

It's Been Awhile, so sayeth Maddie Sue

Ms Maddie Sue gave me a nudge this morning reminding me that it has been awhile since we posted to her blog. I explained that mostly I posted her foibles and that lately, she has been foible-less. Except if you want to remember, which I do not, the time she went into a full blown belly laughing stand up comedy routine, between 1 a.m. and 3 a.m.! Funny as it was, it was not funny in the middle of the night. She may be part rooster.

So over morning coffee, she and I agreed to this yummy post -- a thought by Jon Winokur from his book, Mondo Canine:

"If dogs didn't exist, we'd have to invent them. They are clean, cheerful, brave and faithful. They consistently display the best qualities of humans and few, if any, of our bad ones. They are the only species in the animal kingdom to have truly embraced human beings, and when it comes to friendship, they put us to shame. They give unconditional love and undying loyalty in return for regular meals and an occasional pat on the head."

How blessed I am to share my life with dogs.

This message has been approved by Ms Maddie Sue Taco Rooster, oops, okay, she has asked me to remove the Rooster part from her nom de plume but Taco can remain. NOW, this message has been approved.

The Naked Chihuahua Streaks Again

I glanced out the window on this chilly day only to see my beloved, Gordon, crashing through the large mango tree and weaving, stooped over behind the deadened banana plants. This strange behavior posed two options:

a) that Gordon had lost his mind (a possibility living with me and the critters I bring home), or
b) that the Naked Chihuahua was once again on the lamb.

It was the latter.
She runs like a cross between a greyhound and a gazelle with wild passion in her eyes, tossing caution to the wind. Fortunately, it was a frosty day and Ms Maddie Sue has a knee jerk reaction to the word, "treat" -- which I shouted once I saw the chase in full throttle. And in she ran, delighted with herself. Followed by Gordon, who was not the least delighted in anything at that moment.

But peace returned to our abode.

During this chilly season, I put sweaters on the little pups, and Ruby wears what looks like a Kentucky Derby horse blanket. Two of the three love this warmth. Somehow the Naked Chihuahua, true to her name, can wiggle out of any sweater I dress her in and winds up in her birthday suit within hours of being dressed. Go figure.

It's a Three Dog Night in St. Pete!