It was a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a reunion. Maddie and I had been looking forward to the visit of her mom, Nancy.
How much was Maddie Sue looking forward to this visit? Glad you should ask.
The evening before Nancy's arrival, I decided to take a long and soaking bath with herbal salts. I just sank into the tub under Maddie Sue's watchful eye and as I did, I said, "Tomorrow your mom comes." And she tilted her head with interest. I continued, never knowing when I should just shut up, "You know, Mrs. Paul."
Upon hearing that familiar name, Maddie Sue, with no warning, and probably surprising both of us, flew into the air, landing right on my chest, and put her face to mine with a look like, "Say what?"
Not to be out done by a Naked Chihuahua, a wet one at that, Lexi, the alpha, jumps in too. Obviously, the bath was now over and three wet females had to dry off. Did I mention it was 1 a.m. (after my work shift.)
But back to the reunion.
We met in downtown St. Pete, and sat outside overlooking the twin banyan trees and the harbor. The weather was perfect. Maddie Sue was beside herself with joy -- jumping, snuggling, kissing, singing, warbling -- just causing all sorts of joyous vibrations and energy. Enough so that passersby would ask why she was so overcome with happiness --- cuz she gets to be with her mom.
Nancy and Paul will always and forever be Maddie Sue's parents. Maddie and I are just two old(er) broads who are living our (s)aging years together. Mine is sort of like her retirement home.
The place where I got my coffee had a bowl of dog biscuits and I picked out a bright Kelly green one for Ms Maddie Sue. Since Nancy and I were treating ourselves to refreshments, Maddie Sue might as well join us.
In fairness to Nancy, who broke dainty little bits of this Leprechaun treat for Maddie Sue to gobble, ooops, I meant savor, Nancy did ask me if I thought it was okay to feed it to Maddie. "Oh sure, why not?" I replied.
You don't need the graphic details (although as a chaplain in the trauma room, trust me, I can provide them). Suffice it to say that that night when I got home from work, and the next morning as well, Maddie Sue's area looked like a crime scene.
The next day Maddie slugged around, not eating, looking pathetic while I felt my heart ache with guilt for picking out the poison Leprechaun dog treat.
Truly, I should have known.
Truly, I would think that I would have a learning curve on this one. Why?
Well, by way of example one -- as a child of 7, I had to fly military transport from Great Lakes to California - you know, the prop plane not known for comfort. I was not sitting by my family. I guess we got seated in whatever empty seats were available. I remember only two things about this flight, which occurred on St.Patrick's Day. One is the green pear they served. The second is the nice lady who held the bag and my forehead as I relieved myself of.....yes, the Leprechaun green pear.
By way of example two -- formerly I had a 14 year old stepdaughter who was having all four of her wisdom teeth pulled. Being the good stepmother, I wanted her to have something smooth and cold upon her return from the dentist so I went to the store to purchase her favorite ice cream - mint (as in pale Leprechaun) pistachio ice cream -- and unfortunately, not only was it in the killer green family, but it was loaded with nuts. Do I need to say that I felt like the evil, nefarious stepmother as I ran for the bucket. All did not go well.
Okay -- I think I finally got it. Sorry it took three times experiencing the after effects of slime colored, Leprechaun colored, any sort of bright green not appearing naturally in nature to teach me that if it don't look like food -- it ain't. If it looks like a Leprechaun -- don't eat it.
And in case there is an Anti-Defamation League for Leprechauns -- I love the little fellows, just not the color when it poses as a food product.
+++++++++++++++
In poking the sleeping Naked Chihuahua to get her approval for this post she said, "don't let yourself off the hook so easily" and went back to her nap. Hmmm. I guess that is an approval for the post and a disapproval for my attempt to poison her. Sorry ol' girl.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Maddies Big Pal, Ruby
Maddie Sue has been bugging me to write a blog post about her full-figured pal, Ruby. Perchance her conscious got the best of her after her last sarcastic post about Ruby's lack of a life. So to make up for her smarty mouth post, Maddie Sue wants you all to know about Ruby's new trick.
This is a special trick Gordon, our two legged beloved "taught" Ruby.
He asks her how old she is, and then tickles her in her spot to make her leg pound the ground. When she gets to 7, he stops, she stops, and we all cheer.
He will ask her what time it is, tickles her spot, she taps her leg (okay -- pounds it to the ground) the right number of times to get the correct time. He stops, she stops, we cheer. Ruby smiles and feels so proud of whatever she did that made everyone so happy.
Maddie Sue gets a big charge out of this trick -- she even laughs as only a Naked Chihuahua can laugh.
And speaking of telling time, Maddie Sue, the rooster (she hates when I refer to her that way, but it is true) is in charge of the morning time, and Ruby is in charge of dinner time.
When it is 7 a.m., Maddie Sue's twinkle toes start tickling the wood floors and she begins with a warble and finishes with a loud and clear WHACK!! I jump up and take them all out for potty because she has me so expertly trained and because if I don't, her cacophony can escalate beyond comfort levels.
Then she has me trained to immediately go next to the kitchen and serve up three bowls of breakfast for her and her friends BEFORE I crawl back in bed (remember, I usually fall asleep at 3 a.m., so I am not really a slacker.)
Ruby is more subtle, but when you weigh 150 pounds and are full of slobber, you can afford to be more subtle. At 4:55 p.m., she goes over to Gordon's chair and starts poking him, leaving slobber luggies on his clean jeans. That is enough to get him up and going.
The two have become quite a team. They love to race up the driveway after potty and en route to treats. It is hard to tell who wins because Maddie Sue doubles back and races between Ruby's elephantine feet just to add thrills, suspense and challenge to the race. So the picture is of a lumbering Red manatee shape with a little flea darting all around as they progress up the driveway at a pretty good clip.
+++++++++++++++
Checking with the sleeping Chihuahua behind my chair for approval, she merely opened one eye and said, "well, its about time." I assume then that this post is hereby approved by the N.C.
This is a special trick Gordon, our two legged beloved "taught" Ruby.
He asks her how old she is, and then tickles her in her spot to make her leg pound the ground. When she gets to 7, he stops, she stops, and we all cheer.
He will ask her what time it is, tickles her spot, she taps her leg (okay -- pounds it to the ground) the right number of times to get the correct time. He stops, she stops, we cheer. Ruby smiles and feels so proud of whatever she did that made everyone so happy.
Maddie Sue gets a big charge out of this trick -- she even laughs as only a Naked Chihuahua can laugh.
And speaking of telling time, Maddie Sue, the rooster (she hates when I refer to her that way, but it is true) is in charge of the morning time, and Ruby is in charge of dinner time.
When it is 7 a.m., Maddie Sue's twinkle toes start tickling the wood floors and she begins with a warble and finishes with a loud and clear WHACK!! I jump up and take them all out for potty because she has me so expertly trained and because if I don't, her cacophony can escalate beyond comfort levels.
Then she has me trained to immediately go next to the kitchen and serve up three bowls of breakfast for her and her friends BEFORE I crawl back in bed (remember, I usually fall asleep at 3 a.m., so I am not really a slacker.)
Ruby is more subtle, but when you weigh 150 pounds and are full of slobber, you can afford to be more subtle. At 4:55 p.m., she goes over to Gordon's chair and starts poking him, leaving slobber luggies on his clean jeans. That is enough to get him up and going.
The two have become quite a team. They love to race up the driveway after potty and en route to treats. It is hard to tell who wins because Maddie Sue doubles back and races between Ruby's elephantine feet just to add thrills, suspense and challenge to the race. So the picture is of a lumbering Red manatee shape with a little flea darting all around as they progress up the driveway at a pretty good clip.
+++++++++++++++
Checking with the sleeping Chihuahua behind my chair for approval, she merely opened one eye and said, "well, its about time." I assume then that this post is hereby approved by the N.C.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Sibling Rivalry
Ruby asked why she couldn't have a blog of her own.
Maddie Sue, trying to be honest, yet tactful, asked her what it would say:
Ate,
Pooped
Slept
Farted
Laid Around
Drooled
Ate
Pooped
Slept
Farted
Laid Around
"No offense," said the sage Maddie Sue, "But folks just aren't interested in this kind of routine."
To which Lex butted in, literally, with, "And I am too cool for a blog. I don't give a chihuahua's butt what other people think, I am what I am and I am the Boss 'a you."
yawn.
To which Maddie Sue replied, "Is it time for supper yet?"
Maddie Sue, trying to be honest, yet tactful, asked her what it would say:
Ate,
Pooped
Slept
Farted
Laid Around
Drooled
Ate
Pooped
Slept
Farted
Laid Around
"No offense," said the sage Maddie Sue, "But folks just aren't interested in this kind of routine."
To which Lex butted in, literally, with, "And I am too cool for a blog. I don't give a chihuahua's butt what other people think, I am what I am and I am the Boss 'a you."
yawn.
To which Maddie Sue replied, "Is it time for supper yet?"
Saturday, July 24, 2010
The Call of the Wild
The moon was bursting with fullness. Wild winds were blowing off the bay. The night was magical and sultry, with the veil between the heavens and the earth blowing free. The shade between asleep and awake, thin in dreamlike consciousness.
A mystical time.
A call of the wild.
A call to the Nocturnal Naked Chihuahua.
And Ms Maddie Sue felt compelled to answer, from the magical moment the clock struck midnight to the time I debated whether to tie her to the street lamp or put her in her designer box at around 2 a.m.
Maddie sue answered The Call by calling to me in her chi-voice: WHACK. And I responded by climbing out of my bed, slipping on my shoes, saddling her up and taking her outside.
Once out, she sat.
Just sat. Alert and savoring the wild winds and full moon, the magic of the moment. She just sat. After about ten minutes, I took her in, but once I began to settle into sleep, she called to go out again.
This time, we both just sat.
savoring
She didn't move her body at all -- just sat there in the windy moonlight - blending her spirit with the spirit energy around her. I sat with her, watching in awe of this experience.
But as time moved on, my eyes got droopy.
Maddie Sue refused to move off her sitting spot.
My choice was to either tie her to the street lamp -- tempting, very tempting....
or as I chose, I carried her in and placed her in her box, closing but not locking the door behind her.
In her box, she often snuggles in her blankets and feels a cave-like safeness. And at 2:15 a.m. -- she did just that and put her little nocturnal head on her flower petal pillow and fell asleep.
as did I -- in my sleep nest in the bed.
*******
Maddie Sue approves this post -- after I woke her from her afternoon nap to review it. I should tie her to a doggie treadmill during the day to keep her from sleeping by day. She pines that she wishes we had a yard so she could spend more time in nature. To which I replied, "count your blessings, my sweet love-chi, count your blessings."
A mystical time.
A call of the wild.
A call to the Nocturnal Naked Chihuahua.
And Ms Maddie Sue felt compelled to answer, from the magical moment the clock struck midnight to the time I debated whether to tie her to the street lamp or put her in her designer box at around 2 a.m.
Maddie sue answered The Call by calling to me in her chi-voice: WHACK. And I responded by climbing out of my bed, slipping on my shoes, saddling her up and taking her outside.
Once out, she sat.
Just sat. Alert and savoring the wild winds and full moon, the magic of the moment. She just sat. After about ten minutes, I took her in, but once I began to settle into sleep, she called to go out again.
This time, we both just sat.
savoring
She didn't move her body at all -- just sat there in the windy moonlight - blending her spirit with the spirit energy around her. I sat with her, watching in awe of this experience.
But as time moved on, my eyes got droopy.
Maddie Sue refused to move off her sitting spot.
My choice was to either tie her to the street lamp -- tempting, very tempting....
or as I chose, I carried her in and placed her in her box, closing but not locking the door behind her.
In her box, she often snuggles in her blankets and feels a cave-like safeness. And at 2:15 a.m. -- she did just that and put her little nocturnal head on her flower petal pillow and fell asleep.
as did I -- in my sleep nest in the bed.
*******
Maddie Sue approves this post -- after I woke her from her afternoon nap to review it. I should tie her to a doggie treadmill during the day to keep her from sleeping by day. She pines that she wishes we had a yard so she could spend more time in nature. To which I replied, "count your blessings, my sweet love-chi, count your blessings."
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Further antics of the Nocturnal Naked Chihuahua
Recently, Maddie Sue has taken to wanting to sleep on the couch in my sitting room. It's sort of like her "big girl" place. She thinks she cannot jump that high (although I have seen her do so), so I bought her stair steps so she could get on and off herself.
But as you would suspect, she thinks she cannot climb the stairs, so using a quilt over the stairs, I made a comfy, slopping little hill for her so she can get up and down herself. (Although I just noticed that the only boy in the house, the visiting Boo, has peed at the foot of her slope. Boys!)
But, as you would suspect, she wants to be lifted on and off at night, even though she scales her gentle mountain slope regularly during the day.
I would just as soon not have her sleep on the couch because invariably she will wake up in a few hours, realize she is alone in the dark and "WHACK" for me to come and fetch her. This is normally just when I am getting into a good rem of sleep.
You might say, "well, you're bigger than she is, don't let her sleep there." To which I would respond, "She is stubborn, and determined, and she will "WHACK" until she gets her way." So tough love does not work well with Ms Maddie Sue.
This is the long wind up to the story about Darth Chihuahua.
Last night, she wanted to sleep on the couch. So I grabbed her harness and "helped" her climb her gentle mountain slope to the couch. She settled right down to a snug sleep and I went to bed praying for her sleep to continue, yet, having a honed set of "mother's ears," I knew I would be listening for her call.
Several hours later:
BAM!
The door to the bedroom slammed open so wide it hit the dresser.
With a start, I opened my eyes just as light flooded the bedroom like a stage spotlight and in the shadow - made huge by the light, stood....................drum roll..............
DARTH CHIHUAHUA
Who proudly announced her presence with a "WHACK" (as if the Bam of the door and the blast of light did not get our attention) -- saying in her doggy way: "boy am I proud of myself! I not only made it off the couch, but through the house in the dark all by myself!" Looking like a giant chihuahua with her little piggy tail awaggin' like crazy. She was disappointed that this was not an occasion to rise and celebrate her accomplishment, since it was indeed only 4 in the morning.
*************
As is our agreement, and since this is her blog, Maddie Sue has editorial and approval rights. Her only comment is, "Aren't you being just a little harsh here?" To which I replied, "NO!"
Begrudgingly, Maddie Sue approves this post.
But as you would suspect, she thinks she cannot climb the stairs, so using a quilt over the stairs, I made a comfy, slopping little hill for her so she can get up and down herself. (Although I just noticed that the only boy in the house, the visiting Boo, has peed at the foot of her slope. Boys!)
But, as you would suspect, she wants to be lifted on and off at night, even though she scales her gentle mountain slope regularly during the day.
I would just as soon not have her sleep on the couch because invariably she will wake up in a few hours, realize she is alone in the dark and "WHACK" for me to come and fetch her. This is normally just when I am getting into a good rem of sleep.
You might say, "well, you're bigger than she is, don't let her sleep there." To which I would respond, "She is stubborn, and determined, and she will "WHACK" until she gets her way." So tough love does not work well with Ms Maddie Sue.
This is the long wind up to the story about Darth Chihuahua.
Last night, she wanted to sleep on the couch. So I grabbed her harness and "helped" her climb her gentle mountain slope to the couch. She settled right down to a snug sleep and I went to bed praying for her sleep to continue, yet, having a honed set of "mother's ears," I knew I would be listening for her call.
Several hours later:
BAM!
The door to the bedroom slammed open so wide it hit the dresser.
With a start, I opened my eyes just as light flooded the bedroom like a stage spotlight and in the shadow - made huge by the light, stood....................drum roll..............
DARTH CHIHUAHUA
Who proudly announced her presence with a "WHACK" (as if the Bam of the door and the blast of light did not get our attention) -- saying in her doggy way: "boy am I proud of myself! I not only made it off the couch, but through the house in the dark all by myself!" Looking like a giant chihuahua with her little piggy tail awaggin' like crazy. She was disappointed that this was not an occasion to rise and celebrate her accomplishment, since it was indeed only 4 in the morning.
*************
As is our agreement, and since this is her blog, Maddie Sue has editorial and approval rights. Her only comment is, "Aren't you being just a little harsh here?" To which I replied, "NO!"
Begrudgingly, Maddie Sue approves this post.
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